September 2006 Archives
Parent Hacks had recently an a discussion about How do your kids address adults? The comments there are diverse and illuminating -- and echo the different positions I've heard when discussing this topic with other parents.
I'm of the view that a child should address an adult as Ms/Mr (firs- or last-name) unless they are really related or really close -- or if the adult asks the child to use their first name. And in the case of family, to me using "Uncle/Aunt/Grandpa/Grandma first-name" seems more respectful than just the unadorned first-name.
Come to think of it, I did call my uncles and aunts by just their first names, but the idea of calling an adult acquaintance (or a grand parent) by the first-name only would never cross my mind. Of course, I grew up with Czech and Swiss German, both of which clearly differentiate familiar and respectful forms of address, so maybe that's where my "traditional" views stem from.
Here in Texas, I myself have been addressed as "Mr. Riha", "Mr. Stepan", "Uncle Stepan", "Stepan" and -- shudder -- "Hey Stepan". Frankly the "Mr. Firstname" address sounds a bit southern to me, but it's probably easier for the child, since they hear me addressed as "Stepan" by their parents and probably have no idea who the heck "Mr. Riha" is. In reality, I don't notice all that much what I'm called, but I find it very jarrying when a child addresses Jfer as "Hey, Jennifer!" to get her attention. That. Is. Sooo. Rude! "Hay", after all, is for horses!
Anyhow, the point of this is how we're going to have Magda address strangers. For now, she's been going mostly with the first-name approach (it's just simpler that way when they don't talk much), but we also do the "Mr/Miss" thing with parents that raise their children that way. I'm curious how easy it will be for her to transition into calling our neighbors by Mr. First-Name.
On a related note, she's pretty good about saying "Yes, please" and "No, thank you", since we always remind her. But she's really enjoying saying "Yes Sir" and "No Ma'am" and she sounds so southern when she says the latter, putting a very pronounced triphthong into it. I don't know where she gets it from...
